Two in a Bar: An Introduction from Dave Gelly
Observer Jazz Critic and ABJM Committee Member

For years musicians have been protesting about licensing laws that persecute live music, the notorious ‘two-in-a-bar’ rule that makes it illegal for more than two entertainers to perform in a pub without an expensive permit from the local authority. We complained to our MPs. We complained to the Home Office. We complained to the Department of Culture, Media and Sport. The answer was always the same - ‘Be patient,’ they said. ‘The entire licensing system is due to be reformed soon and it’ll all be sorted out.’

Well, the proposals for the new licensing laws have been published now, and if they come into force they’ll make matters much, much worse. In fact, it looks as though the Government has deliberately set out to strangle any kind of live music at all, not just in pubs, clubs and restaurants but everywhere - church halls, schools, wedding parties in stately homes, a marquee on the vicarage lawn, or even in your own back garden. Nowhere will be exempt from persecution.

If you are a musician and you’re caught playing at an unlicensed venue, you could be fined £20,000 or go down for six months. And how would you know if the place was licensed? That’s your problem, pal.

The person responsible for all this is Dr Kim Howells. You might think that a man with the grand title of Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport would want to do a bit of good for - well - culture, wouldn’t you? Well, he’s done his bit for DJs and jukeboxes, because recorded music doesn’t need a licence. And he’s done a grand job for football fans, packed like sardines in front of a monster TV screen, yelling their heads off, because they’re not affected either. But you just try putting on a string quartet, or a little jazz trio, or even a tinkling cocktail pianist, and he’ll have you.

Why is he doing it? It can’t be on account of noise, because the DJ and the jukebox can make more noise than the Household Cavalry on manoeuvres. It can’t be fear of disorder, because the football boys can get pretty worked up on occasion. And, anyway, who ever heard of a cocktail pianist starting a riot?

Of course the football boys and DJ crowds buy a lot of drink. Suspicious-minded people might say that Dr Howells had been nobbled by the big brewers, and perhaps by Mr Rupert Murdoch, owner of half the media on the planet, including BSkyB, the leading TV sports provider. Or maybe he’s just thick.

Whatever the case, let’s just spell a few things out for him, shall we?

Obvious point number one: Music, especially pop music, has been one of Britain’s biggest export successes in the past. And where did Sir Mick Jagger and Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Elton John learn their trade and play their first gigs? In pubs, clubs, village halls etc, etc. Not if Dr Kim Howells had been in charge they wouldn’t.

Obvious point number two: If kids grow up only hearing music coming out of loudspeakers, they will not associate music with human beings playing instruments, and eventually there will be no native English or Welsh music of any kind, because there will be no-one to play it. (Scotland won’t be affected; they get along perfectly well without any of this nonsense North of the Border.)
Obvious point number three: Idle young people with nothing creative to occupy them often drift into drugs and crime. If even a few of them can get together and form bands, that will be a few lives saved. But you can’t have a band without somewhere to practise, and then somewhere to play for other people.

We can go on making obvious points forever. After all, most of us have always assumed that music was a good thing, and that making music and listening to it were life-enhancing experiences, which ought to be encouraged. That’s still the opinion of most people, but not, apparently, of Dr Kim Howells, the man who seems to have been put in charge of our culture. Which is hard luck on all of us.

Dave Gelly, January 2003